Maybe I'm not cut out for this life.

Ive realised I really like drawing and writing but I don't think i have the skill or persistence to make a living out of it. I've always thought I'm great at creating characters (if I say so mahself) but...

they fall flat.

Real art, the kind I like to read and watch and view, has heart. Even the shitty action packed things I like (i.e. Zombie Powder, Bebop, Firefly, even REPO) all have some underlying hope or message or characters you can relate to, characters that make you feel. You cry when they die, when they fail, when they're disappointed. I think a lot of people just watch or read things because they're "cool" or "popular". Same as anything. But I think when you really like something you feel changed, y'know like your life is reevaluated or something. Or the characters are like familiar, like old friends. You turn to them in times of need. A true artist can make anyone love any work not with peer pressure or advertising but with their own skills. That is what I strive for. To not even be funny or sad or even the next big thing- I just want to make people read my work and step back and look at their surroundings and go "Now I see."

To paraphrase Joss Whedon- I would rather have one person who really likes my work and has their life changed by it then 5000 people just saying 'good job' and forgetting about it. I don't want your empty praise. So if you have the time- please go through my gallery. Tell me what you hate and why. Tell me what you like- don't spare my feelings. Be honest. I can't improve within this sheltered life.

Deviantart is for artists. Until this point I was an imposter. From this day forth I will be an actual artist.

Quote me on that.

SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY.

P.S Also if there's something ya wanna see just holler coz I got time to kill and motivation anew.

Tagged so if you dun care, dun read.

tagged by

【Artist Baton】

◆Your name?
Phoebe. Like the greek word meaning 'light' or the character from Catcher in the Rye. Take your pick.

◆If possible, your age?
Seventeen.

◆When did you start drawing?
Seriously, when I was about twelve but crummy drawings before that.

◆Which hand do you use for drawing?
The 'right' hand. *wink*

◆Which is easier to draw - male or female?
I find females easier to think of hairstyles and outifts for but I like drawing guys more.

◆Which is easier to draw - long hair or short hair?
Long. There aren't many variations on short hair so it's hard to make it interesting or easy to distinguish between characters.

◆Is it easier to draw the head facing towards the right or the left?
I always automatically draw it to the left so I don't know. I'll get back to you.

◆Is it easier to draw the side view of the face or the front view?
Front.

◆What do you have problems in drawing?
Different angles of the face and arms that are in proportion to the rest of the body.

◆What do you like to draw?
People who look angry or overly happy. I like drawing expressive faces.

◆Are you a traditional artist or a digital artist?
Traditional.

◆Where do you start drawing from?
I draw the shape of the head and shoulders first.

◆What is your drawing habit that you are aware of?
I make the same faces as the ones I draw and I tend to think of situations to suit the drawing.

◆Any tips for coloring/shading?
To make shading look realistic, decide where your light source is coming from. Mixed shadows make things look strange. Colouring- do it on the computer unless you have really good pencils/textas.

◆How long does it take to finish a piece of art?
Depends how anal I get about detail. If i just shut up draw, maybe five minutes. If I worry and add backgrounds and details- closer to half an hour. Coloured- two days.

◆What music do you listen to while you draw?
Music that I think suits the character or situation. I enjoy coming up with soundtracks for OCs.

◆How long does it take you to come up with an idea?
I only draw when I have an idea otherwise I just end up drawing Allen Walker, Phoenix Wright characters, zombies, emo Edwards or Hitler.

◆Your favorite drawing utensils?
Pencil (sharpened) and a big eraser.

◆Your favorite color/the color that you use a lot?
I'm not really a colour person. I like drawing in black and white but sometimes add red alla Frank Miller.

◆Your favorite style(s)?
The art style I like is semi-realism and popart. The way I draw is probably best described as wannabee manga.

◆What kind of artist are you aiming for?
The kind that doesn't suck.

◆Thank you.
Now please fill in the next columns by writing the names of the artists that match the criterea. Artists tagged must fill in this baton.

Shmexi -
Awesome - :iconspittingfireball:
Chillin' -
Yummy -
Adorable -

Sorry it's been a while. I've been distracted by life and some other shitty stuff. Here's my oh-so-lazy plan. Lay down the stuff I need to and anyone who wants actual detail, comment or note me. Is that okay, MUM?

1- AVCon. Sweet Jebus. Fellow Phoenix Wright cosplayers (i was Apollo) were so kind to me and my aerodynamic fringe was not. We sucked at quiz night and I'll submit some photos soon but for those who are impatient just type AVCon 2009 into that handy search on dA. Pedobear FTW and Kareoke is fun when you whore over it.

2- Went to KI for the trillionth time. Hung out with Italian and Chinese exchange students and had some laughs with Shannon and Michelle (who I hardly ever talk to...) They're both really nice people and I'm glad I got the chance to properly hang out with them for once. Tours are boring and the tour guide thought I was German. >_> Lost in translation...

3- Went to the city with ppl who don't like me much. That sucked but put some things into perspective and I met a crazy fellow anime fan on the train. She was reading Bloody Kiss and was late for a party.

4- My lord and master, Millie (~xxOrihimexx) is over Haruhi and has moved onto Ouran Host Club. Still her being Tamaki and the king of all of us. Planning a group cosplay with me as either Mori or one of the twins... She found out Vic Mignona (or however you spell it) won't be at the Melbourne Supernova. We discovered we can't make packet brownies.

5- Got tagged. Again.
EIGHT THINGS YADA YADA. DO OR DIE.
1. I'm wearing a shirt I got two years ago for the first time ever today.
2. I want to play The World Ends With You.
3. The Triple J's Hottest 100 of All Time pleases me.
4. I'm going to a Pearl Jam concert with my father in November.
5. I suck at bowling and most sports.
6. A doctor told me i have above average flexibility.
7. I get along well with my parents and siblings and find people who don't confusing.
8. I can touch my nose with my tongue.

6- New story idea because I haven't submitted something for ages.
Story is untitled and made up of character based one shots. Four main characters- Zombie boy with freckles who's kind of like a cross between Allen Walker (from D.Gray-man) and Hunny (from Ouran High) in personality, not looks. His older brother (well really twin brother, it gets complicated) who blocks out the world with music and seems to know more about what's going on than anyone else. Their boss who has three seperate lives she's trying to lead simultaneously (lol can't spell *Kristoph reference*)and some stupid girl who's really a parody of all the 'tough, sarcastic females'I've written so unrealistically over the years. (So a bitch who's whiny).

WELL THAT'S ALL. More real life stuff than usual but still crap.
Seeya.
Phoebe Ïch bin ein berliner' Morpheous.

For once, I'm going to talk about my actual life! No, don't get too excited- it's cosplay related.

In a bizarre turn of events, Phoebe can actually go to AVCon! \(^o^)/
(Is that cheering I can hear in the background???)
But- there is un catch! Because I thought I wouldn't be able to go, I haven't planned a cosplay... Now there are several options here.

#1- Don't go in cosplay. I can deal. I'm a big kid *sniff*.
#2- Wear an existing outfit. E.g. My Akatsuki robe (again) or my Kyon outfit (if I can find a tie..)
#3- Follow my mum's dreams and cosplay as Apollo Justice. She bought me red pants for this exact purpose. That and she thinks I need to own more pants. I would actually enjoy this because it would be fun to act incompetent.
Phoebe as Apollo, Part 1.
Apollo: *buckteeth* Durrr, me good lawyer.
Klavier: Apollo, will you just go home?
Apollo: Phoenix changed the locks.
Klavier: *facepalm*
Apollo: You're funny. Are you Bruno?

Moving on...

#4- Desperately try to find a suit and cravat so I can be Edgeworth as originally planned.
OR
#5-Cobble together something else to be another character e.g. With my red vest, new gloves and black pants I could be a brunette, feminine Akihiko but I feel like that wouldn't do him justice.

And a final conundrum- my "friends" have been on me to have a REPO night for a long time with shadow casting and snacks which usually I would arrange in a second. However- my exchange student (who is really nice and excellent at speaking English by the way ) dislikes horror movies. Srusly she didn't even like 'Shaun of the Dead'. My plan is to go ahead anyway and let her entertain herself for 90 minutes and then watch a movie of her choice (She can finally tell me what 'Chromaggia' translates to) but I dunno. Anyone want to offer a solution?

And here's a tag.


R U L E S:
1. Answer the following questions and post it in your journal.
2. Tag all your watchers. (Add a comment to all of your watchers)
3. Post "You've been tagged. Read the rules in my journal entry."
in the comment.

P E R S O N A L

Real Name: Phoebe
Nickname: Peebee, Phoebus, Phoetus, Phobunnie, Tyki, Ichigo, Pliny the Younger, Phoebe-kun, Teatowel, Pheo
DA name: Murasaki-Usagi.
Country: Australia
Gender ♀/♂: Affeminate boychild.

F A V O R I T E S

Color: Purple.
Food: Chicken sushi.
Drinks: Sarsperilla
Song at the moment: I've had 'Mark It Up' stuck in my head alllll day.
TV Program (one only): How I Met Your Mother (at the moment) but of all time 'Firefly'.
TV Channel (one only): ABC 2
Book: Afterdark By Haruki Murakami

V E R S U S

What do you like most?: Writing.

Sweet or Spicy?: Spicy.

White chocolat or dark chocolat?: Dark chocolate. (RACIST)

Desktop Computer or Laptop?: I'm undecided.

Ice cream or cake?: Ice cream. More flavours.

Anime or cartoons: Cartoons.

PSP or PS2: N64.

Sony or Parasonic?: Doesn't matter.

RnB or Pop?: Pop.


D E V I A N T A R T

What is your most favorite deviation in your gallery? I like "I Can't Sleep". I was really proud of that story. My deviation with the most favourites though is "Skylight". You guys have great taste.

Who is your first watcher? My friend, Courtney.

How many watchers do you have right now? 36.

How many deviation/s do you have? 68. 30 are literature apparently.

At the moment, how many pageviews do you have? 4999.

Whom of your watchers do you talk the most with? Actually I'm not going to bother and make a list because most of them I roleplay with or talk to at school. (or outside of school).

Are you a subscriber? Nope.

When did you start using Deviantart? 4th May, 2007.

You want to be tagged? Tagging is mean. SO ALL DO IT.

*sigh* Better go.
Love your lazy, incompetent, neighbourhood lawyer.
Phoebe Z. Mexicana